Q. I've looked into five different schools (including a visit to each), and three of them seemed to be a good fit for me. I applied to each of the three and they all accepted me. I know I need to make a decision really soon, but I have no idea how to decide. Can you give me some tips that will help me figure out which one would the best of the three?

A. This is really a tough question because you have already done many of things I would suggest you do. I am a big fan of campus visits and applying to multiple schools. The good news is that it seems like you can't make a bad choice if all three schools would be a good fit.

The first thing you need to do is pray. You need to be praying, your family needs to be praying, and your closest Christian friends (such as your small group from church) need to be praying.

Next, seek wise counsel from trusted Christian adults. What do your parents or others close to you say about the three schools? If you have a spiritual mentor, youth pastor or small group leader, I would strongly recommend talking through your options with this individual.

As you consider each school, seek to answer questions like: What programs and extracurricular activities does this school offer that I want? What is the spiritual climate and what are the opportunities for Christian growth on this campus? Will this school prepare me for the career(s) I am interested in? It may also be helpful to create a pro-and-con list for each campus. Then compare the lists. Include everything you can think of, including the items listed above. Other factors should also be considered, such as cost, financial aid package and location. Sometimes seeing a side-by-side comparison will help you focus on one alternative.

In the end, I'm confident that if you seek God's direction, and receive wise counsel from trusted family and friends, you'll be able to narrow these options to the right choice for you.

Q. I'm not a writer, wasn't a great English student, and I am dreading doing application essays. How important are essays and what should I keep in mind as I write them?

A. I have spoken with admissions officers at several colleges that require essays and they all assure me that essays are taken seriously in the admissions process. It's not the only consideration or the most important consideration. But for those schools requiring an essay or essays, it is a very important piece of the whole admissions puzzle.

When admissions counselors read an essay, they are trying to capture a snapshot of your life—something they can't discover from those quick, fill-in-the-blank questions on the application form. They're not looking so much at writing skill and style as they are trying to find out what drives you, what you're passionate about, what makes you tick, what dreams and goals motivate you. The overall purpose of the essay is to see if you'd be both satisfied and successful at the school to which you're applying.

As you think about writing an essay, here are four rules of thumb:

1) Keep it focused and answer the question. Be concise. If a word count is given, stick to it. And when you finish writing, ask yourself: Have I answered the question?

2) Project confidence and honesty. You want to put your best and most honest foot forward. Don't avoid stating your accomplishments. But do avoid overstating your accomplishments. Just present the real you.

3) Proofread your work. While this isn't an English paper, you do want to avoid grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. You may not be a writer, but you've learned enough in high school to write a paper that avoids sloppiness and careless errors.

4) Have someone proofread your essay—and it doesn't hurt to have more than one proofreader. At least one of them should know you very well. Along with helping you spot grammatical problems, this person will also be able to tell if you're trying a little too hard to impress or not trying hard enough.

Finally, keep in mind that essays are one part of the admissions picture, an important part, but nonetheless just one part. Knowing this can keep you from putting too much pressure on yourself and enable you to provide an appropriate snapshot of who you are and who you want to become.

Q. I have been thinking about college since I was about 12, and I have a pretty good idea of what I want and the kind of college I'd like to attend. Well, now that I'm a senior, my parents have started pushing me to attend a liberal arts college in the Midwest. Honestly, I'm ready to go west where it's a lot warmer—and where there are a few different schools that would be a great fit for me. How do I tell my parents nicely that it's my decision?

A. You are absolutely right, in the end this has to be your decision. Your parents and other wise adults can and should play a part in helping you in this process, but you have to be the primary decision maker. You need to find appropriate ways to involve your parents while establishing yourself as the one who will make the final call. You need to communicate this as soon as possible. Plan to have a meeting with your parents where you can have a gentle but firm discussion about this. Before you have the meeting, I have four suggestions:

First, you need to slow down and do a little personal soul searching. I assume since you've been thinking about this for a long time, you've also been praying and seeking wise counsel concerning your college decision. If not, you need to take this important step. As you pray and seek advice, check your motives: Are they sound or are they kind of mixed up? For instance: Is going west for college a smart educational decision based on specific programs you've found or is it more about having an adventure? I am not saying an adventure is necessarily bad, but I think you need to be able to explain to your parents, and to other people who know you very well, why you want to go so far away. Also, be willing to honestly consider your parents' reasons (including financial ones) for you to attend closer to home.

Second, prepare for your conversation with your parents. You need to be able to discuss the pros and cons of your choice or choices. If you can show your parents you have thought this through thoroughly, they may be more open to your desire to go west.

Third, I think you need to narrow your choice to just one or two schools in the West. This will hopefully help communicate that you're interested in more than beaches and sun, and that you have chosen one or two schools with programs that meet your specific needs and career goals.

Finally, be open to at least visiting a couple of schools in the Midwest. This will show your parents that you are at least open to considering solid options a little closer to home. Again, this doesn't mean you're going to go there. It simply means you respect their opinions and are mature enough to consider their suggestions.

When you feel prepared to meet with your parents, don't put it off. Do it as soon as you can. And keep in mind that this is also a big transition for your parents, especially if you are their first child to go to college. So, remember to be gentle and, as you stated in your question, communicate your feelings as nicely as possible.

Being prepared to share your thoughtful reasons for the school you want to attend should help your folks feel more at ease with your role as the primary decision maker.

Q. I need letters of recommendation. What should I keep in mind as I choose my letter writers?

A. Recommendation letters are an important part of the application process. And it does matter who writes them, so choose carefully. Many colleges have specific requirements such as a guidance counselor, a pastor, etc., so make sure you abide by each school's instructions. On top of this, I have a few other suggestions that will help you pick the right people.

First, choose people who know you well instead of somebody you think will impress the admissions staff. For example: I would choose a youth leader who's been around you three or four years rather than your senior pastor if he barely knows you.

Second, choose a variety of people who will provide a well-rounded perspective of who you are. For example: You need someone who has a clear understanding of your commitment to Christ and church-related activities. You also need someone, like a teacher, who understands your academic abilities and extracurricular involvements. Finally, you need someone, like a close family friend or boss, who understands your emotional maturity and work ethic.

Next, encourage those writing your letters to be specific. Each year I receive a good deal of reference letters and I'm surprised at how many of them are way too general. They provide little specific information about a candidate. These letters are not helpful. On the other hand, letters that give specific information about how the writer has interacted with the candidate are very valuable in helping me develop my perceptions.

Finally, be sure you pick people who like you. I know this sounds obvious, but don't ever pick a reference who's fired you from a job or somebody you always seem to rub the wrong way. This doesn't mean you should pick a reference who doesn't know your weaknesses or the kinds of things that are challenging to you. Honesty from your references is extremely important. You don't want to come across as "too good to be true"; if you do, you probably are! But you do want references who know you well and who will help you put your best foot forward.

Skip Trudeau is the dean of student development at Taylor University in Upland, Indiana.