In high school, college always seemed a long way off to me. Looking back, I
can see that I should have started thinking about it earlier, but I was busy
with other activities like soccer and youth group. I pretty much figured
I would cross that bridge when I came to it. As a result, my parents started thinking about college before I did, and
I didn't start looking at schools until the summer before my senior
year. My mother, however, had foresight. She had visited a school near Chicago
called Wheaton College a couple of times and must have mentioned it to me
a million times. She dropped so many subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints that
I started to get tired of hearing them. I didn't know enough about the
school to be completely convinced it was where I wanted to go. Besides, college
was my first chance to really step out on my own. I wanted the decision about
where I went to be minenot my parents'. But then my parents and I took a trip and visited several schools around
the country. Most of the places we went were small Christian colleges. Mom
and Dad persuaded me to at least give Wheaton a chance, so we made it one
of the stops on our tour. To my surprise and my parents' delight, I loved the place. Everything
about it seemed perfect: The tour guide was friendly and helpful, the campus
was dignified and beautiful, and I loved the little town near the school. Also, the school was strong in my areas of interest. I was seriously considering
a major in music, and I was also hoping to play college soccer. I knew that
Wheaton's music conservatory was excellent and that it had a pretty
good soccer team. So I loved the campus and felt confident the school had what I was looking
for. It seemed like the ideal match for me. My parents were thrilledespecially my mother. But then again, they had
been excited about it for a long time already. Second Thoughts
Even though I was ready to send my application in the day I got home from
my visit, I wanted to pray and make sure God was as excited as I was. In
a way, though, my mind was already made up. I answered my own prayers by
determining the reply ahead of time. Without really listening for God's direction, I started telling people
I felt as if I'd found the college where God wanted me. My parents prayed
about it, too, and felt the same way. I filled out the early application
without applying to any other schools. And thenprobably sometime around ChristmasI started wondering whether
I should have taken a serious look at more than one college. On the one hand, I knew without a doubt that Wheaton was where I wanted to
go. I had felt that way from the moment I had stepped on the campus. At the same time, I didn't want to put all of my eggs in one basket.
My grades and test scores were really good, but I knew Wheaton was very
selective, and I wasn't positive I would get in. And what if it wasn't
God's will for me to go there? At first I kept my concerns to myself. For the most part, I still felt sure
I'd discovered the perfect school for me. It seemed so obvious, and
I didn't want to worry about it too much. But my concerns wouldn't
go away. Finally, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore, and I asked my dad whether
we needed to look at some more schools. By then, though, it was getting near
the date when Wheaton was supposed to reply to my application. Dad said he
understood my concern but thought we should wait for the response before
we worried too much. So we waited. Then it happened. Around the first week of February, I got a letter that
made my heart drop like a stone. "I'm sorry to inform you that you have not been selected for admission
…" They included a nice note saying I was a good student, seemed like a strong
Christian, and they hated having to turn me down, but that didn't make
me feel much better. I was crushed and confused. I barely had the heart to
finish the letter. I figured I could find another school. The problem was that I didn't
want to go anywhere else. I had felt so sure that God wanted me to be there.
That night I stumbled onto my bed and prayed: Lord, do I really know how to hear your voice, or was I just deceiving
myself? Now what?
I wasn't sure about anything. I had never imagined it would be easy
to get into Wheaton, but I knew that if God wanted me to be there, he would
make a way for me to go. I couldn't figure out whether I'd missed
God completely or whether he'd changed his mind. Telling my friends about the situation only made matters worse. It was
humiliating, and I wasn't really in the mood to give them long explanations. For two or three weeks, I tried not even to think about school. It was getting
late to start considering other options, and I wasn't remotely interested
in any other colleges. Besides, where was God in all this? Was he trying
to tell me something? Had I done something wrong? I was pretty sure there was another school out there for me, but after this
experience, I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to college. I began to
wonder if I had been looking at colleges simply because that's what
people expected me to do. Over the next couple of weeks, however, most of these feelings faded away,
and I was ready to start looking at schools again. Starting over
I decided to handle my second college search a little differently than the
first one. For one thing, I wanted something very concrete to cling to when
I made my decision, like an acceptance letter. I wanted to be confident in
my choice, and I wanted to know why I felt that way. I also wanted to visit
several schools and take a serious look at all of them. Over spring break of my senior year, my dad and I visited four different
Christian colleges. We spent about a day at each one. All of the schools
were on spring break, so there weren't a lot of people on any of the
campuses. I enjoyed the schools, but after about 10 minutes on each campus,
I had a feeling that most of them were not for me. The only school that seemed to fit me was Taylor University in Indiana. Even
so, my day there wasn't easy. I was still hurting a little from being
turned down at Wheaton, and I couldn't help feeling kind of mellow and
sad. Also, I learned that Taylor already had a waiting list for fall admission,
and I was worried about being rejected again. I was sick of looking around
at colleges and not knowing which one would be mine. I was sick of tours
and doubt and empty college campuses. During my visit, I was asked to fill out a form for the music department.
Since nobody from the department was going to be there when I turned it in,
they told me just to come back and stick it on the bulletin board outside
the office. While the other people in my tour group were eating lunch, I walked back
to the music building. The office was empty, so I pinned the form on the
door with a tack and started to walk out. But I couldn't. I didn't
really have the heart. My feet were heavy, and I felt like I had a weight
on my shoulders. So instead of going back and finishing my lunch, I sat down on a little chair
outside the office and cried. After a while, I started to pray: Lord, I'm tired of trying to figure things out. I'm tired of
weighing one thing against another. Every time I make the decision on my
own and let you tag along, something goes wrong. I just want go where you
want me to be. After about half an hour, I left and went back to my group. I felt much better,
and over the next couple of days, I began to feel good about going to Taylor.
At the same time, I didn't want to just trust my feelings, so I told
my dad I wanted to hear from all four colleges before I decided anything. After that there was nothing to do but go back home and wait. My own decision
My college-choice process was a lot different the second time around. When
I applied the first time, my parents kind of called the shots. They liked
Wheaton, and as soon as I said I wanted to go there, that was that. I
didn't really think it through. In some ways, my parents made the decision
more than I did. This time, though, they wanted me to make the decision on my own. They told
me to pray about it and then choose what I felt was right. Every time I asked
them what they thought I should do, they turned the question around and asked
what I wanted to do. At times it was infuriating. I didn't really want to think I wanted
things to be easy and straightforward. Fortunately, my parents didn't
let me off the hook. They wouldn't budge. Before I heard from Taylor, I received nice scholarship offers from two of
the other schools I'd visited. My parents, though, weren't as concerned
with the scholarships as they were with me making the right choice. They
didn't pressure me into any decisions. They told me that I needed to
go where the Lord wanted me to go. Then, one humid evening in April, the soccer coach from Taylor called. He
said he had permission to tell me that I'd been accepted, and he wanted
to know if I would be willing to play for him. He sounded like he really
wanted me on the team, and I started to get excited. Soccer was one of my
top priorities. More and more, Taylor seemed to be the place I wanted to
go. I hadn't heard from the fourth school yet, but by that point it was
too late to wait much longer to make the decision. I told my parents that
I would give myself a week to decide. That night I prayed for over an hour: Lord, you know I want to be in your will. I want to know where you're
directing me, and I need to know some things. First, I need a concrete,
paper-in-my-hand acceptance letter. Secondly, I need to have a peace that
this is where you want me and that I'm not just doing my own thing. The next afternoon I got my acceptance letter, and that clinched it. It was
a direct answer to prayer, and it made me feel more comfortable with the
decision. Not too long after, I talked to the soccer coach again and arranged
to go to soccer tryouts. I had decided. Taylor was the school I would attend. The right place
I'm a junior in college now. I have lots of friends, an awesome boyfriend,
and I'm the team chaplain of the soccer team. I also have a major I'm
excited aboutsocial work. My goal is to work with physically and mentally
disabled children. I never did declare a music major, but I still do music
in my spare time. In my heart, I am fully confident that I made the right college decision.
I can see God's hand through all the circumstances that brought me here.
I had other plans, but he managed to direct me to the right place. There's something to be said about waiting on the Lord. When you are
trying to make a decision, it's easy to bounce between extremes. Some
people tell you that unless God says no you should go for it. Others say
that until the Lord says go, you shouldn't move at all. There needs
to be a balance. The Lord knows what we need better than we do. Being here is what I need.
I had everything planned out just as I wanted it, but God had different ideas.
He knew I needed to be stretched in the ways I'm being stretched and
challenged in the ways I'm being challenged. When I look back on my college search, I can see lots of things I would have
done differently. For instance, I think if I had prayed about it more and
paid more attention to other schools, it wouldn't have been such a shock
to me when I was turned down by my first-choice school. I learned so much
about praying and saying, "Lord I'm going to wait until you show me
something. I'm not only going to trust my feelings." Still, I know the experience was good for me. Yes, it was painful, and I
made lots of mistakes. But God was there the whole time, standing beside
me and taking care of me even when I thought I could take care of myself.
I'm a stronger person because of it, and I know I'll use the lessons
I've learned for the rest of my life. Dealing with Disappointment
Getting a rejection letter in the mail can feel
like a slap in the face. And if you thought you'd
been following God's will, it can be a blow to your faith, too.
But it's not the end of the world, and it's certainly
not the end of God's care for you. By following these
steps, you'll see how thoughts from the Bible can
help you through this tough time and even bring you closer
to God. 1. Face your feelings. When discouragement strikes, it's OK to feel sadness
and loss. The psalmist put it this way: "My tears have been my food day and
night ... My soul is downcast within me" (Psalm 42:3, 5). It's good and healthy
to grieve for a while. Then it's time to move on. 2. Seek comfort. You know best what makes you feel better, whether it's
talking to a friend, writing in your journal or walking through the woods.
As you seek peace in these activities, God will be restoring you on the inside.
You have the Bible's word on itGod is "the Father of all compassion and
the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4>). 3. Find a new direction. Once your spirits have bounced back from rock bottom, you're ready to start searching for the next step. To figure out where to look, get advice from people who know youand from the One who knows you
perfectly. "You hold me by my right hand," the psalmist says to God. "You
guide me with your counsel" (Psalm 73:23-24). 4. Step out. It won't be easy at first to pursue a new dream. Your heart
might not be in it. But you can't let discouragement and wounded pride keep
you from finding out where God wants you to go. And you'd hate to miss out
on that! " 'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11). Copyright © 1999 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information. |